My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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