Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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