I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
