We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize