im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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