I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
