shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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