and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
