Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There r osticjed everywhere
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
