last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
