Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
