should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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