Have you finally orgasmed yet?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
