Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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