im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize