Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
