Can Purell be used as lube?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
