my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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