I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
