Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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