he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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