Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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