I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
