I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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