It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
