he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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