She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
