its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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