If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
