You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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