I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
