I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
