Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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