Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Found your dick twin last night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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