At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
