Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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