I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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