After last night, I could never be a politician.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Panties = found
Randomize
