he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
