Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize