Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
