I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
