i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
