New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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