It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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