dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i out mim tonsoeep
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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