I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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