I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
