That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
