I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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