So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
