..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
