I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
