I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
