it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize