That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize