Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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