Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so much tequila, so little girl.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize