I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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